Juzzy&Andy

Mi Goreng
By Juzzy&Andy

Boi - eh boi i hungry 
you wan da pho?
Pho, doma chop you
wha chu wan girl

Mi goreng brings all the Chinks to the yard
And they’re like “Ni hao ma”
Damn right, It velly good la
I can make you, but I have to charge 

Mi goreng brings all the Viets to the yard
And they’re like “Pho doma”
Damn right, chop you doma
I can make you, but I have to charge

Verse 1:
I know you want it…
The thing that makes these
Asians go crazy for
They lose their minds 
For the taste I find
I think it’s time..

Vamp:
(La-La-La-La-la)
Boil it up
(La-La-La-La-la)
The girls are waiting
(La-La-La-La-la)
Stir it up
(La-La-La-La-la)
The boys are waiting

Chorus:
Mi goreng brings all the Chinks to the yard
And they’re like “Pho doma”
Damn right, It velly good la
I can make you, but I have to charge 

Mi goreng brings all the Viets to the yard
And they’re like “Pho doma”
Damn right, chop you doma
I can make you, but I have to charge

Verse 2:
I can see you’re on it…
You boil up the water
Noodles come after and Stir (stir it up)
Watch out it’s hot
Use chopsticks I bought
Watch if you’re smart

Vamp:
(La-La-La-La-la)
Boil it up
(La-La-La-La-la)
The girls are waiting
(La-La-La-La-la)
Stir it up
(La-La-La-La-la)
The boys are waiting

Chorus:
Mi goreng brings all the Chinks to the yard
And they’re like “Ni hao ma”
Damn right, It velly good la
I can make you, but I have to charge 

Mi goreng brings all the Viets to the yard
And they’re like “Pho doma”
Damn right, chop you doma
I can make you, but I have to charge

Bridge:
Oh, Once you get involved
Everyone will look this way so
You must add soy and chilli
Same time you add the oil yo
Just get the perfect blend
Then mix in fried onions
Don’t forget the seasoning powder
Mi goreng’s the best shit ever

Vamp:
(La-La-La-La-la)
Boil it up
(La-La-La-La-la)
The girls are waiting
(La-La-La-La-la)
Stir it up
(La-La-La-La-la)
The boys are waiting

Chorus:
Mi goreng brings all the Chinks to the yard
And they’re like “Ni hao ma”
Damn right, It velly good la
I can teach you, but I have to charge 

Mi goreng brings all the Viets to the yard
And they’re like “Pho doma”
Damn right, chop you doma
I can make you, but I have to charge

Uhh Ok I get da Mi- goreng
Ok numba 3
For you 2 dolla fifty.  

Play count: 130

Not Fair Debbie
By Juzzy&Andy

Juzzy, it’s me…DEBBIE!
You stay away from me… I have pepper spray on my keychain!!!

[Chant]
Boys are cheats and liars
They’re such a big disgrace
They will tell you anything to get to second

BASEball, baseball
He thinks he’s gonna score
If you let him go all the way
Then you are a WH….. (school bell ring)

[Verse 1]
We’re were so excited for you Deb
Tell us when you’re going to leave
Old London Town is where you’ll be
And all your dreams will be achieved

[Verse 2]
You know I’ve never met a girl
Who is so strong, smart and mature
Don’t change except maybe an accent
It sounds so posh and so demure

[Bridge]
There’s just one thing that’s getting in the way
You tried to get your Visa, and it was delayed
It’s such a shame
But all those British boys, they want to get to know you
These boys have so much charm, don’t trust anything they tell you

[Chorus]
It’s not fair
Cause you’re off to the UK
You’re off to the UK
You’re off to the UK

Oh take us it’s not fair
Oh Debbie please take care
Oh Debbie please take care

Oh it’s not fair
Cause you’re going on exchange
You’re going on exchange
You’re going on exchange

Oh you’ll have so much fun
With adventures to the max
Adventures to the max

[Verse 3]
Oh you’ll have such fun in England
Like a college girl gone wild
I hope you use lots of protection
Please don’t come home with a child

[Verse 4]
Try to remember what your Mum said
When you were leaving Sydney
Maybe she’s just overreacting
Pray you won’t catch STD’s

[Bridge]

[Chorus]

{Boys are cheats and liars chant}

[Bridge]

[Chorus]

Debbie, Debbie Savan-na
She’s going to rock out Loughborough
Oh Debbie, Debbie Savan-na
Sydney or London 
She always has such fun
At the Loughborough University (University)
Debbie, Debbie Savan-na (Yeah)

Play count: 110

WARNING: Explicit language

JUST RUN
Written and performed by Juzzy and Andy

Privilege
Andy
Juzzy
Oh yeah

[Verse 1]
What is the deal with this nightclub? (club oh oh oh)
All of the people are Asians (Fresh Off the Boat)
There is just one white guy, I want to make him mine
I want to dance with him tonight, (oh oh oh oh)

[Bridge 1]
What’s go-ing-on on the floor?
I make my way to him, but who the hell is that whore?
Keep it cool, Juzzy calm the fuck down
I wanna slap this bitch to China-China…

[Chorus 1 ]
(Town) Dance, gonna be okay (da da doo doo)
Just dance, get me another drink (da doo doo)
Just dance, cause it’s Friday (duh duh duh)
Dance, dance, dance just ju-ju-just dance

[Verse 2]
Wish I could open up my eyes (oh oh oh oh)
And see my friends tellin’ me lies (tastes like water)
Control your poison babe, it’s still early in the day
Just wait ‘til 9 o’clock tonight (oh oh oh oh)

[Bridge 2]
What’s (what’s) go (go)-ing-on on the floor?
I love this record baby but I can’t see straight anymore
D-O-M’s surround me in the club
Their hands all over and it’s not right, not right

[Chorus 2]
Andy, get me another drink (da da doo doo)
Justine, baby it’s on me (da doo doo)
Just dance, cause it’s Friday (duh duh duh)
Dance, dance, dance just ju-ju-just

[Andy]
When I come back from the bar, I see my friends all gone
Can’t believe my eyes, why do they keep on drinking more?
And I ain’t got any money, so steady the drinks from now on
Oh because that business report is due tomorrow yeah.

Juzzy I can see that you got so much energy
Steady now or else you’ll look all drunkgetty
And there are reasons why you can’t leave here without me
In the meantime stay, let me watch you break it down and…

Dance, gonna be okay oh-oh (da da doo doo)
Just dance, spin that record babe oh-yeah (da doo doo)

[Chorus 2 x 2]

Let’s Go!
I’m so plastic it’s fantastic
They all love me, They’re fanatics
I’m so plastic it’s fantasic
I’m V.I.P automatic
I’m so plastic it’s fantastic
One taste of me, it’s orgasmic
I’m so plastic it’s fantastic
Watch that mole, she’s just a spastic

GO! Juzzy take that bitch on and sharpen those claws
I got it, this ho’s really gonna get it
Fo’ sho’, rip her, slap her, don’t forget, use
Your stiletto (I got it)
To do a stab-o (I got it)

[Chorus 3]
Dumb slut, just kicked your ass (da da doo doo)
Dumb whore, do you want some more? (da da doo doo)
Juzzy, hurry up let’s roll (da da doo doo)
Just run, the cops are coming [Police Sirens]
Just run, cause it’s not okay (ruh ruh ruh run)
Run, Run, Run, just ju-ju-just run, RUN!

Play count: 110

FLOra
Written and performed by Juzzy and Andy

Verse 1]
Closed off from life
I can’t remember my name (Your name’s Flora)
It’s that time of the month
Oh God it’s period pain (Ewwww)
Pass me a pad or I will chuck a hissy
fit… 

[Verse 2]
Irrational, emotional
I rant and I rave (I think you’re leaking)
I could kill a small child for the chocolate I crave
And everyone’s looking round thinkin’ I’m going crazy
Maybe, maybe

[Bridge]
(I’m so stressed about Uni)
I don’t care what you say (Excuse me?)
I’ve got so much stress
You better stay away
I’ve got PMS (Omg…don’t hurt me)
I hate bleedin’ for a week
Can’t believe I’m not dyin’ (La la la.. I’m not listening)
Oooh it won’t stop flowin’

[Chorus]
And I
Keep bleedin’, keep keep bleedin’ blood [x3]

STOP MUSIC. CHANGE SONG.
Errr…Juzzy. Wrong Song. 
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeemiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiix

Juzzy, Andy
GO FLORA, IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY
yeah yeah [x2]

[Verse 1]
She is so funny 
Ain’t just a cute face that makes you feel at ease
Can’t find no one else like her 
Especially with those size D tits I wanna squeeze
Give ‘em to me girl

[Pre-chorus]
Oh Flora don’t you know that we are all here for your hatch day
We’re waiting for the OSCARS to start so we can see
Who wins the award for best actress in a movie
Now step up and go claim your prize

[Chorus]
Andrew it’s that time, better get in line
I can’t wait coz soon she will arrive
If you search the web, you will find celebs 
Looking their best for the broadcast live
Flora it’s your night, in the spotlight
Work that carpet take it all the way
She is from the hood, watch out HOLLYWOOD 
It’s her birthday birthday birthday birthday

[Verse 2]
She is so classy (Ah-ha)
A girl you’d take home to meet your mom (Mum I’d like you to meet Flora)
So don’t be shy, contact her on (Ah-ha)
flora_WOW@hotmail.com (What was that?)

[Pre-Chorus]
[Chorus]

Ohhhh Baby Girl, I don’t know how long I’ve known you for
But listen girl, you’re my BFF ‘til my death
So listen Girl, now that you’re 21, go out and have some fun
Oh Baby Girl, It’s Your Birthday babe, your birthday yeah

Now step up and go claim your prize

—————————————————————————————————
BACKGROUND

When we first let our friends listen to Newtown, the feedback was crazy! Our friend Flora asked if we could sing her a song for her upcoming birthday while we were driving home from my 21st celebrations in the city (NB: Idy was designated driver. We do not condone drink driving, ok kids). Flora told us that her favourite song at the moment was Leona Lewis’s Bleeding Love, and while still in our drunken state, Andy and I started to sing about Flora and her monthly periods. She thought we were just joking and that we would sing a nice song for her instead. We weren’t joking. And we didn’t sing a nice song.

Fact 1:
We usually write about really random/stupid stuff that goes in our lives, but this was the first time we wrote about a friend. It was also the first time we used 2 songs in one track. This is now the standard personalised birthday song package you can order through with Juzzy & Andy. Additional fees apply.

Fact 2:
There is no way Juzzy can even compare to the vocal stylings of Leona. So we decided to fudge a minute or so of Bleeding Love before cutting to a more grindable track lol.

Fact 3:
Flora is incredibly articulate and funny. She can recount a story in perfect detail.

Fact 4:
She has incredibly large breasts. (NB: This fact does not specifically name names)

Fact 5:
Flora is always known to use the term “hatch day” instead of the more orthodox word ‘birthday’.

Fact 6:
Her 21st birthday bash was themed ‘HOLLYWOOD - Oscars Night’. Guests arrived at the venue as the Glitterati of Tinsel Town - Celebrities, movie characters, cartoons and the rich and famous strutting their stuff on the red carpet with yes… a backdrop of the Hollywood hills.

Fact 7:
We were told on the invitation that there were to be Academy Awards to be given out for best dressed. Heavy alcohol consumption made her forget to present these awards… but it is no contest that Juzzy & Andy won best duet performance as Austin Powers and Felicity Shagwell ;)

Fact 8:
“The hood” in the last line of chorus refers to our hometown Bonny*. 

Fact 9:
In the second verse of the second song, flora_wow@hotmail.com is Flora’s actual email address. She is currently single. Don’t be shy to drop her an email, boys.

Fact 10:
Flora will probably kill us for disclosing sensitive information in Fact 9.

Fact 11:
Flora’s Oscars Night was the first time Juzzy & Andy had to do a live performance. Andy was already tipsy and forgetting lyrics so we had no choice but to…yes I’m afraid so… lip sync. But we put the “syn” in ‘lip sync’! (I have no idea what that is supposed to mean)

Fact 12:
There are 2 versions of the song FLOra. The first being the original track, while the second has a dedication to Flora towards the end of the song.

Fact 13:
The ending of the song is actually an out-take embedded into the track. It is of Juzzy trying to sing when her voice cracks. Laughter follows.

Fact 14:
Flora’s party was probably, in our circle anyway, the social event of the Year 2008.

Fact 15:
We had so much fun brainstorming, writing, producing, editing and performing this song and it makes us even happier that this song was not about us… for once. This song was made with love so enjoy it bitch!

- Juzzy & Andy

*Suburb slightly changed for privacy reasons.

Play count: 92

Newtown (The Adventures of Juzzy & Spandy)

Are you ready? [x 2]
OK guys, we better go. We have sooo much window shopping to do!
If you ain’t got no money take you broke ass home [x2] I said…

N-E-W-T-O-W-N [x2]

[Chorus]
Thursdays let’s meet, way downtown
We’ll walk down King street, only in Newtown
We’ll see the freaks there, but please don’t stare
Coz it’s the culture (oh yeah yeah)
The adventures of Juzzy & Spandy
The adventures of Spandy & Juzzy (Only in Newtown)
Adventures of Juzzy & Spandy
The adventures in Newtown

[Verse 1]
Meet up at Platform 19
Take the train you know the scene
It’s Andrew and it’s Justine
Shopping for expensive things
Canvas bags and high heels
Dresses! Look how soft they feel
But we love our bargain deals
And our $6.50 lunch meals
Holy Moly, Dangerfield
Bling-bling, sunnies shield
There’s emo’s, the gays and the whores
The fashions weird just gimme more (gimme gimme more)
Look at that man, is he wearing stockings?
We turn around but nobody’s mocking
Is it just me or is this seen only in Newtown?
So…

[Chorus]

[Rap]
I’m talkin’ vintage boutiques
Op-shop antics
You deserve nothin’ but all the Newtown things
Now our Livo world has no clue what to do with us
We got enough balls to fuck up all who stare at us
First I gotta keep enough lettuce to support your shoe fetish
Lifestyles so rich and famous, D.O.M.s will get jealous (Dirty Old Men)
Shut your mouth and don’t you moan (moan)
You can’t afford a cell phone (phone)
So if you ain’t got no money take your broke ass home (home)

N-E-W-T-O-W-N [x2]
[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
Then we shop at Liverpool
Damn I feel like such a fool
Peeps look at my red legs like they’ve not seen legs before (fuck y’all)
Yes I strut and yes I flaunt
But its stares that really haunt
Take a picture if you want, it will last longer (Take a picture, it’ll last longer)
Hold me back coz yes I’ll fight
I’m a bitch, that’s right I bite (meowww)
You look my outfit up and down then you give a frown
You just jealous coz you ugly, oops I mean you so damn fugly
Wish you were stylish like me, but you will never be
(If you aint got no money take your broke ass home I said)
Stylish like me
(If you aint got no money take your broke ass home I said)
But you will never be
(If you aint got no money take your broke ass home I said)
You wish you were like me
(If you aint got no money take your broke ass home)
You’ll never be Juzzy

(Ring Ring) Justine where are you now?
Hey Andrew… I’m still on the train
OMG alright, I’ll meet you on Platform 19 ok?
Can’t wait… NEWTOWN BABY!

———————————————————————————————-

BACKGROUND

Andrew and I have been friends for ages and naturally have our own little traditions. We live out west in Sydney (westie shame) and so the first time Andrew took me to Newtown I was overwhelmed. I couldnt believe the trendy boutique shops, the tasteful grafitti, the fashion and the PEOPLE. Omg the people! It was like stepping into another world. Goths, gays, freaks, hippies, teeny boppers, yuppies, crazies, heavily tattooed/pierced/flesh showing people of every background, taste, belief, stereotype etc… and they were all beautiful. Newtown, I personally think, is the most cultured place in Sydney. 

This was going to be our new tradition. Thursdays we would plan to meet at Platform 19 at Central Station. We would laugh, bitch, gossip about stuff on the train until we stopped at Newtown. We would go op-shopping for hours until we were starving and decide to eat at our fave thai place. It’s only $6.50 for the best hokkien noodles you will taste, but because I talk too much and get distracted easily, I always seem to walk out the door without paying. That leaves Andy with the bill. Ooops.

I still can’t get over the people and their dress sense. You could wear a garbage bag as a dress and get away with it. People wear the craziest things, yet people don’t make a big deal out of it. They don’t do a double take when they see a man wearing stockings or when a woman shaves half her head off. But we sure did. I would shamelessly hang my mouth open or point my finger at someone in awe if they looked different. But then after visiting Newtown after awhile u start to feel really plain. I started to feel I wasn’t good enough, trendy enough, weird enough for Newtown. So I started to dress bolder, daring to wear pieces I normally wouldn’t even think of. I wore bright red stockings once and nobody minds… even got a compliment or two. I even wore an I ♥ ME tshirt and no one in Newtown gave a rat’s ass. I loved it.

That same day I got a call that my french class was cancelled, so Andy and I decided to go back to Liverpool and shop some more there. OMG. if Ihad a dollar for every stare I got, I would’ve been excluded from the financial cirisis. I was looked up and down mercilessly, people couldn’t take their eyes off my legs and it was really getting to me. A child grubbily eating icecream stopped in her tracks and didn’t resume eating ‘til I was out of sight. Girls looking at my outfit.. I was like “bitch pleeeeease”. I was ready to rip someone’s face off.

Thus, our first song… our baby, was born. 
We had so much fun writing and recording it. All our stuff isnt done seriously coz we just do it out of fun. But we just can’t believe the amount of support and compliments we got from it. Our friends seem to enjoy it ( idk why… it was a personal joke between me and Andy). So because of Newtown… we got our first gig from writing our 2nd song for a dear friend of ours. 

To be continued…

-Juzzy & Andy

Play count: 85